Swine Flu Meets

Chaos Theory

The simple story of a complicated shoot that quite simply wouldn’t exist if not for the flu named for swine.

Right now, on May 3rd, 2009 as I am typing this the outcome is yet to be written and four days ago him having a suspected case of the Swine Flu was kind of a big deal.  In other words I’d prefer he stay the heck home and we would gladly reschedule the shoot when he was fully recovered and much less contagious, thank you very much.

I know, I know… word on the street is we’re not supposed to call it the Swine Flu anymore, apparently some claim it may be offensive to people of Muslim or Jewish faiths who don’t eat pork (I am not making this up), instead we should call it the ‘Mexican Flu.’  I know what you’re thinking because I thought the same thing, since when does anyone think it’s OK to eat Mexicans?  They taste terrible!  Of course I’m only joking… Mexicans don’t taste too bad.

The email responses went out and everyone agreed that proceeding without the visionary hair stylist (who shall remain un-named due to doctor/client privelages) was not an option, and the shoot was canceled.

That would have been the end of the road if Keith Bryce wasn’t a friggin’ maniac, and I use that term in it’s warmest, most complimentary way possible.  Fans of Project Runway may recognize the name from last season. Keith was part of the team assembled for the Opposite Series yet in the hour or so since agreeing that canceling the shoot was best he had another idea.  He wanted to bring in a body-painter, a different hair stylist, a makeup artist and two models and shoot a different concept with chicken wire and tubes… in 48 hours.

“Sounds awesome!” I said, “but let’s be reasonable, styling one model with body paint, hair, wardrobe and makeup is going to take hours and two models could take days. How about we stick to one model just to be safe?”

Literally half-a-dozen emails later he finally agrees.  Phew!  In the mean-time the original model we had booked had already made other plans, which meant I had 48-hours to book a model.  Piece of cake!  Now I just have to tell my pregnant wife who loved the idea of a canceled shoot that we were now doing an even bigger production.  Can I just say that she is the best sport ever!

Two days later the full team arrives, Chad doing hair, Brett Hamilton doing body paint, makeup by Paula Dahlberg, custom wardrobe by Keith Bryce assisted by Adam, my assistant Dani Peek (who also brought Pumpkin Chocolate chip bread and White Chocolate Cinnamon Scones!), and the beautiful and ever-willing Carly Stark as the model that is completely unaware of what she just stepped into.  After six hours of styling, and lots of wire and heavy-hair-piece induced pain for the model I give you the aptly named Glamborg. The girl that simply would not exist if not for a some pig farmers in Mexico.

Swine flu eat your heart out.

PS – Carly thought it was only appropriate for me to let everyone know her struggle did not end when the photo-lights turned off, it took three showers and a mom-assisted sponge bath to remove the evidence. Yikes!